Burning Bridges

I can’t keep this inside any longer. I think I need to get it out somehow, so here it is. Just thoughts that’s all. -Ahem-

I miss her. Its been 4 years since I met her and fell for her the minute I saw her. I didn’t know I had fallen for her at the time, but the feeling was weird. I recall feeling that this girl, who I only just met, looked so interesting to me and I didn’t know why. I felt like something was screaming at me from deep inside my chest, but I didn’t know what it was saying to me. I remember that night all too well, was so odd. All I wanted to do was stay close to this girl. 

After that, we ended up talking to each other a lot online. Hung out a few times and hit it off. We were both very shy, though. Words were said that first year of knowing each other, we both knew that we were fallen.

Lots of things happened which ended up with us not speaking for a while. I think we stopped talking to each other like 4 or more times, due to our feelings and situations that were hardly avoidable. But, we always ended up talking after months of no words. I’m the one who always initiated it, because I can’t stop talking to her. I never really realized that, until this year. Just noticed that I always want to talk to her, to see what’s happening with her, how she’s doing and stuff like that… hoping that she’s happy. 

*memory* I remember the first time she kissed me. September 21. It was my very first kiss, by this girl who I fell for. My first love, I guess you can say. I couldn’t believe it. This happened at her 18th birthday party, I was 15. There was a little party at her moms place with drinks, food and stuff.. there was about 10 or so people there in that small house. I had some drinks, got sort of buzzed out. The party was chill and the people had fun, including me. Then it was almost 2am or something like that and I decided that I wanted to go to the bus stop to head home. As I stood up and announced that I wanted to go home and asked where the bus stop was… She jumped up from the couch and told me that she’d take me there, although that’s not what happened. She was coming towards me and I was putting on my shoes and stepped outside on the front steps, she followed. We stood out there for a while, making small talk about how the party was and how I was gonna get home and how I could go back there if the buses weren’t running anymore. She was standing at the top of the stairs and I was one or two steps below. So I said that I should go and we hugged each other goodbye, she was on one step higher from mine now. It was a very long hug and I remember that I didn’t want to let go or walk away from her. So, I finally decided to let go and pulled back from her to get going. As I was pulling back, she didn’t let go. Instead, she whispered a small ‘wait’ and I see her lips coming closer to mine. My eyes close automatically as she pressed her lips on my top lip and mine on her bottom lip. She pulled back and said bye to me. I’m pretty sure I was blushing and for sure I know I was smiling like an idiot. I sort of stumbled off the steps and started walking towards the bus stop in a little daze. At this point, I was touching my lips and smiling like craazzyy walking down the street, dragging the fingers of my left hand on the fence next to me. Haha, yeah. My first kiss, by my first love… no doubt will I ever forget. 

Haha. Is it bad for me still wanting to kiss her? I know I want to.. even though I haven’t seen her in I don’t know how long. It’s possible that it’s been a year. But I don’t even know.. I was trying to forget her for so long, but never really did. Might be impossible to forget your first love, especially if they gave you your first kiss. Damn. 

I hope she does come and hang out with me sometime this week, I really want to see her. I want to; see how I would react around her, read her expressions and body language, see if she’s still as shy as she was before, see if I actually would have the nerve to go and kiss her after so long.

Now that we’re older, it might lead to something… the kiss. I’m not sure if I’d give in or if I would stop it. Haha, shouldn’t even be thinking about this part. All I want to do is kiss her, I want her!

Now that we’re older, we could actually talk about things that bothered me… or something. I want to know why she’s still into me, why she still claims that she loves me, why she never gave me a chance, why she didn’t say yes to me when I asked her out one time. I feel like she said no for good reason but…. I dunno. 

I feel like…. that one day, in the future when everything falls as its supposed to.. I might actually get to be with her. When I can run away with her and take her places. I remember we talked about running away together one day, it was mostly hypothetical, but I can actually see it happening one day. Its just that both our lives right now… clash, with good reason. We’re still learning, growing up… maybe that’s life preparing us for later. Or maybe I’m just being naive about this. I just don’t know. There’s always two sides to everything, it doesn’t matter what it is. Good, bad. Right, wrong. Heads, tails. ……….Together, not together. 

I don’t know man. For right now, I just want to be around her.. to get to know her again. Know what kind of person she has become after those years/months of not seeing or talking to one another. I want to get to RE-know her… although I know it’s not really necessary.

Because well….. I still love her.

*goes into mind, breathing goes weird, face goes stern, chest feels weird* Woah. o.o

“What kind of student are you?”

You are doing pretty well.

Keep looking for ways to do even better.

Good Study Habits    Good Grades    Good Career Options    Good Life!

“What’s your learning style?”

•Auditory: 45%

•Visual: 35%

•Tactile: 20%

You are an Auditory learner! Check out the information below.

Auditory

If you are an auditory learner, you learn by hearing and listening. You understand and remember things you have heard. You store information by the way it sounds, and you have an easier time understanding spoken instructions than written ones. You often learn by reading out loud because you have to hear it or speak it in order to know it.

As an auditory learner, you probably hum or talk to yourself or others if you become bored. People may think you are not paying attention, even though you may be hearing and understanding everything being said.

Here are some things that auditory learners like you can do to learn better.

•Sit where you can hear.

•Have your hearing checked on a regular basis.

•Use flashcards to learn new words; read them out loud.

•Read stories, assignments, or directions out loud.

•Record yourself spelling words and then listen to the recording.

•Have test questions read to you out loud.

•Study new material by reading it out loud.

Remember that you need to hear things, not just see things, in order to learn well.

“How strong is your character?”

Caring/Compassionate

If you are caring/compassionate, you are concerned about people and the world, and you want to help.

Questions to Think About

•Do I care about strangers as much as I do my family and friends?

•How do I react to the people in my life who want me to do well?

•In what situations have I shown compassion?

Example Careers for Someone Caring/Compassionate

•Counselor

•Nurse

Cooperative/A Team Player

If you are cooperative/a team player, you have the ability and a willingness to work with others to achieve a common goal.

Questions to Think About

•What are some ways I have cooperated with my teachers?

•Are there ways I can cooperate more with my parents?

•How can I improve my ability to cooperate?

Example Careers for Someone Cooperative/A Team Player

•Government official

•Mediator

Creative

If you are creative, you like coming up with new ideas and new ways to do things.

Questions to Think About

•Do I know any creative people? Who?

•In what areas of my life am I most creative?

•Is there anything I do daily that I can try doing in a different way?

Example Careers for Someone Creative

•Designer

•Photographer

Enthusiastic

If you are enthusiastic, you are interested in and care about what you are doing.

Questions to Think About

•What am I enthusiastic about?

•How do I show my enthusiasm?

•How can enthusiasm help me achieve my long-term goals?

Example Careers for Someone Enthusiastic

•Motivational speaker

•Physical therapist

Confident

If you are confident, you have belief in yourself and your abilities.

Questions to Think About

•In what areas of my life am I very confident?

•Are there any areas of my life where I lack confidence?

•How can I feel more confident in myself?

Example Careers for Someone Confident

•Salesperson

•Sports agent

Courteous/Polite

If you are courteous, you show respect and consideration for others.

Questions to Think About

•Who around me treats me with courtesy?

•In what ways am I courteous?

•In what ways can I be more courteous?

Example Careers for Someone Courteous/Polite

•Customer service provider

•Hotel manager

Fair/Impartial

If you are fair/impartial, you are able to look at a situation without taking sides.

Questions to Think About

•In what situations is it important I remain fair?

•Do I find it difficult to be fair?

•How will remaining fair help me in life?

Example Careers for Someone Fair/Impartial

•Medical examiner

•Reporter

Humble

If you are humble, you are confident but know you have more to learn.

Questions to Think About

•In what ways can I learn and grow?

•Where do I draw the line between confidence and overconfidence?

•Have I ever been overconfident?

Example Careers for Someone Humble

•Customer service representative

•Personal assistant

Kind/Considerate

If you are kind/considerate, you are nice to those around you.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Who are some of the kindest people I know?

•Do I treat others the way I want to be treated?

•How do I get people to treat me with kindness?

Example Careers for Someone Kind/Considerate

•Tour guide

•Veterinarian

Observant

If you are observant, you know what’s going on around you.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•How aware am I of things happening around me?

•Are there certain things that I am more in tune with than others?

•Do I think it’s important to be observant?

Example Careers for Someone Observant

•Crime scene investigator

•Photographer

Optimistic

If you are optimistic, you have a positive outlook and think things will turn out well.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Do people turn to me when they are down?

•Do I see the glass as half full or half empty?

•Why is it good for me to be optimistic?

Example Careers for Someone Optimistic

•Advertising executive

•Archeologist

Patient

If you are patient, you are able to wait without whining or complaining.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Do I know more people who are patient or more who are impatient?

•Do I find it difficult to be patient?

•How do I show when I’m impatient?

Example Careers for Someone Patient

•Landscaper

•Truck driver

Respectful

If you are respectful, you have regard for other people’s feelings or possessions.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Do I have respect for others?

•How do I show respect?

•Under what circumstances am I disrespectful?

Example Careers for Someone Respectful

•Housekeeper

•Therapist

Sincere

If you are sincere, you speak or act “from the heart” and really mean it.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Am I always my authentic self, or am I sometimes “fake”?

•Do others think of me as sincere?

•How do I show people I am sincere?

Example Careers for Someone Sincere

•Social worker

•Therapist

Tolerant

If you are tolerant, you accept values, practices, or beliefs that differ from your own.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Would I like to explore the world and meet new people?

•Do I accept people from different backgrounds?

•How do I handle myself when I am the “odd man out” in a group?

Example Careers for Someone Tolerant

•Child care provider

•Physician

Trustworthy

If you are trustworthy, others know they can confide in you.

Questions to Ask Yourself

•Who is the most trustworthy person in my life?

•In what ways do I show I am trustworthy?

•How will being trustworthy help me succeed?

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Example Careers for Someone Trustworthy

•Accountant

•Health care provider

This ones for my mom. Haha.